Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
