See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
you mean i was at the winter classic?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
