im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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