Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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