So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
