when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
