thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
