That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
