Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
