you guys were way drunker than both of me
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
