Non-Jews are for practice
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Thank you for not boning my boss.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
