So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
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