I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
where does the pee come out of this thing
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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