He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
