Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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