dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
