I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Randomize
