Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
my poor anus
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
