Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
