Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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