His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I supernannyed him into submission
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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