We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
