i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
