I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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