to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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