Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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