I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
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