youre lurking in front of me
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
