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i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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