I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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