Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
