K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
