So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
