i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
