everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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