he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
