she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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