craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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