this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
There r osticjed everywhere
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize