careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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