5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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