true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
