no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
