are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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