This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
