It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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