no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
What changed your mind?
Being sober
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
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