I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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