I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i used baking grease as lip gloss
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
