its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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