There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
